Face the storm and ride it out

Sometimes life is like setting out to sea in a boat. Sizes of boats differ literally as well as figuratively. Some have massive yachts and cruise ships that can withstand storms better than others, who have smaller rafts, rowboats and dinghies which are unstable and can capsize at the slightest of storms, winds and rough seas. The size of a boat never stops sailors from sailing, but they do take note of their limitations and sail according to their resources and capabilities avoiding known hazards. Unlike sailors, who can choose the day and weather they can sail in, life has to be sailed out daily no matter how the "weather" looks like. One has to daily brave the storms and manoeuvre that boat without running it aground as it were, literally even.

There are days when you leave the house and plunge straight into the storm, but you know you have to face it, ride it out and return home with a sane mind. Knowledge of where you are going, how to get there and how to get to safety or be safe, is key, while always referring to a map and compass for guidance when lost. An assurance and symbol of course maintenance that brings relief and calm in life, so that when that storm comes and tries to wreck havoc, you are not as affected as someone without it. Heavy cargo adds to sinking during a storm and sailors know that to salvage a ship they jettison waste while riding a storm, so remember to take advantage of storms to jettison those things that do not add value to your life. Enjoy the post below and I hope you can relate to it in one way or another.

Lighthouse in the storm

The clouds were dark, thick and swirling,

Daytime was past and nightfall had come

A storm was rising all round and in the distance

I was lost out at sea tired in an old beat down boat

There was no-one by my side to provide courage to row

The storm rose and beat upon my little boat with no mercy

The waves came crashing on the boat tossing it to and fro

I tried to row this way and that way but went nowhere

I did not know where I was or where I was going

Then a small flicker of a light caught my weary eyes

It shone bright and disappeared before I could blink

I waited patiently looking for that shining glimmer

Once again it shone brightly across the ocean storm,

It was the steadfast lighthouse showing me the way

I regained depleted strength and might and started rowing.

I rowed as strong and fast as my exhausted arms could allow

As I got closer to the light, I realised it was the lighthouse

Incessantly, the lighthouse continued to bring me in to dock

Revealing dangerous coastlines and hazardous shoals till was safe

I have this similar steadfast lighthouse in the storm of my life today

The Lord is my light and salvation, my Redeemer, Savior and friend

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Ultimate contentment

Could some of the sample statements below relate to issues that apply to you in some way?

I am too short

I cannot talk properly
I am not good looking

I have a terrible background

I knew I could not do it after all
What could ever come out of me

I am stupid and cannot do anything
I can never manage to get anything right

Everything is not working, life sucks
Everyone does not like me, I'd rather be dead

People generally avoid surrounding themselves with those who complain, because it is draining to listen to, especially if someone complains and does nothing about the problem, or it is something they cannot do anything about. I made a decision long back that I will be guided by the Serenity Prayer, accept what I cannot change, change what I can, and know the difference but try and not complain (this is work in progress and on-going). Life is better when you do not complain, but rather embrace who you are and what you can do and leverage on that to cover more ground than seems possible. You have probably seen the clip I want to show you, but before you watch this clip, I want to ask you what kind of complaints you have had about your being. The perennial recurring kind, where you label yourself a certain way and everyone knows you hate that one thing or more about you. I want to inspire you with the story of Nick Vujicic who was born with Tetra-amelia syndrome, a condition where one is born without all four limbs. Nick struggled with this condition as a young man and even attempted suicide at some point, before finally embracing his condition and embarking on a journey to make the best out of his life. Nick's story, for me is probably the greatest story of inspiration of the recent times, and what stands out more is that Nick does not blame but gives Glory to God, in spite of his condition. He does not blame anyone but makes the most of his life and moves forward. Nick has conquered areas where able bodied people may not even dare in their lifetime and this against all odds. He has a contagious smile on his face and encourages people, who should rather be encouraging him. He has turned the tables of a given life to an admired, joyous and fulfilled life in an amazing way.

On one of her shows, Oprah Winfrey told the audience to "shut your mouth" if anyone had a complaint about to be said about life on social media platforms, before showing them a clip of the story of Nick. Surely after this story, one feels a sense of selfishness to still feel incapable or constrained as a result of self pity and low self esteem, which could be justified, but not as bad as portrayed sometimes. Just as Nick did, one learns to be content with who they are, and contentment is the ultimate form of happiness, as it is internal and not reliant on what happens in one's environment. No one can take contentment away in the way happiness generally comes and goes depending on situations and occurrences. I hope you are inspired to be content and accept who you are and what you can do today and will go out there and make it happen in the same way Nick did, without seeking excuses.

Can you continue without a reboot?

My system is freezing

You have been working on your computer for days and suddenly the system freezes. You call IT support and almost 100% of the time, they will ask if you have tried to reboot. If not, you will most certainly hear the infamous words "please reboot and try again and let me know if the problem continues". Whether on a personal computer, satellite receiver or smart phone, there is a point when tech support will say the inevitable, especially if, you had worked long and hard on a computer without auto saving (fortunately you can recover your work sometimes). Why do the all knowing specialists say we must do this first before they get up and attend to the problem? Apparently, a reboot fixes a lot of minor system glitches that have developed and accumulated over time, though it may in some cases reveal deeper problems that have also developed. The problems cause a device to freeze or fail to open certain programs and functions simultaneously slowing performance. A lot of times the reboot trick works because, as soon as the reboot is complete, you get a smile from a frown, relief from stress and progress once more. Switch off and back on, or reboot, and the machine seems to find recover. Rebooting enables the system to check itself, reset and reconfigure before continuing.

Gremlins in the system

In hindsight of my prior inspirational posts such as Being Extraordinary, Can you do more, Journey to greatness and Get up, get over it and get going to name but a few, I thought about the quiet and unproductive but, most imperative and critical times of life. The times when a reboot is required in one form or another. The time when because of all the system processes running in the background, your performance has rather slowed down and your feel frozen and unproductive. The reboot phases of human nature, when everything maybe is not working out as planned, or not making sense and you cannot push anymore or set goals and do more. You have mapped out, planned, implemented and executed but results did not materialise, or they went the opposite way. When disillusionment and dis-orientation kicks in and you feel like everything is passing you by in fast forward mode while you are standing still watching. How do you get a fix on yourself to get back on track and start moving again? Could it be possible that there is a way that we as people switch off and on again (reboot), to get our processors back on track and functioning optimally again? I think there are times when you just need to clear out your mind of everything that has accumulated over time. Take yourself out of your own shot as it were, and take the director's chair and watch and figure out whether the scene is taking shape or not.

The fix

As much as the mind is such a powerful organ and tool, capable of all these complex functions all at once, I believe a reboot is needed every now and then. When one archives and put into perspective the overload of issues, be it successes, failures, hurts, joys, disappointments and celebrations, which could be slowing the system down and making the current shot freeze. That short time of switching off and back on again, is way shorter than the time it would take to try and push on with a clogged system. Do you reboot through a morning mediation process, yoga, annual retreat or vacation, or do you in fact get someone to come and reboot your system like an IT guy would come and try fix that problem, in which case it could be a near crash. Reboot exercises improve your performance and make you feel better and more ready to face each day. It breaks the monotony and pressure of life issues and resets your system. A reboot is better than a total system crash as, many times it means your system is still functioning, but needs to clear up and start again with better memory, goals, and perspective. You need to get things working again, but inevitably, or in fact, good for you, you have to take that 5 or 10 minute break (which could be days, months or a year for some), while the system reconfigures and starts up again. It may seem like a bad thing slowing you down, if you deem yourself as being behind, but it is way better than a total system collapse, when you cannot proceed at all and everything comes to a complete stop, and so it is a yes from me. Rebooting every once in a while before we push on with those endeavours. What are your experiences with the rebooting phases of your life? I hope it was not near death experiences.

Insatiable: Case of the dripping tap

Rewind

On the last day of high school during morning assembly, the Chaplain spoke about our future. He spoke about how we were done with school, but now starting out in life, with new dreams, aspirations, goals and desires. I did not pay too much attention to the bulk of this sermon, as I was only happy that high school was done and all the pain of study had come to an end, but found something in it captivating. The sermon spoke about how God created us as pursuers who discount what we have accomplished already, looking to the next best thing. I have chosen the word insatiable to define the part of human nature which keeps us hungry for more in life. Words used in the definition of insatiable include, incapable of being satisfied or appeased, thirst, appetite, desire, curiosity, hunger, need or even greed. The Oxford Dictionary tilts the word to especially refer to desire for sex, which I will steer clear of given the context of my objective. Reflecting back on that sermon years ago, I see what the Chaplain meant, as I have grown to see how insatiable I am as a human being.

The Paradox

I have goals that I pursue and some of them are on-going but most are attainable and achievable goals, which are short term in nature, soon goals no more. Once I attain some of these goals, I feel an urge to look for something else to pursue. That hunger, curiosity and thirst always comes up and needs to be fed. While I am pursuing something, sometimes, it feels like pain and hard work, and I only wish I was done with it, but once I am done, I am so used to being consumed and cannot just be doing nothing. I am therefore soon busy looking for more pain and hard work to consume me. What is this thirst within me? Why am I like this all the time throughout my life? The paradox of this is that, I enjoy having new goals and targets to follow at any point in my life. And these are not always big hairy audacious goals, but can be small goals I want to tick off my to do list. I recently spoke to a friend who ran the Comrades Marathon (89km race), and is now going for the Kilimanjaro Marathon (42km race). These are not easy races to run, and if I had personally completed the Comrades, I would gladly place that feather on my cap and take a bow, well that is what I think, but I could be wrong as well. She obviously feels that itch to conquer something else that most of us feel.

Bringing the tap

I am reminded of a dripping water tap, which does not stop releasing small drops of water. It is much like this insatiable part of human nature which drips these urges of desire and hunger, continuously pushing us to do more. There is always another race to run, another mountain to climb or a new feat to achieve. The drops seem small, but the source where the water comes from is massive, hence the tap keeps dripping day and night. Even while you sleep, you awake with a new idea for something new. The source keeps feeding your tap and it drips on. Once I reach a goal, it no longer motivates me, and I seek another motivating goal to pursue. I am always aspiring and looking forward to something that I can achieve. I thrive on that pursuit, to achieve, to overcome and to go further. I suppose I speak for many when I say we are insatiable beings (remember the disclaimer for the Oxford definition). Personally, I have never really stopped studying, despite completing a number of courses this far, I find myself starting on something else, though it sometimes gets tough and I may even develop cognitive dissonance in the process. I have written another blog titled "What is important?", and will hasten to refer back to it as a guiding principle when the tap drips. What are your own experiences and stories related to this? Is your tap dripping that continuous desire and how is it driving you further? How does your quest to tick off "100 things to do before I die" conflict or compliment the opportunity cost of time you could be spending in other ways?

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Teabags, hot water and character

The litmus test
I seem to have fully embraced analogies for some reason as you will have noticed. They are such a part of our daily lives and most of us can relate to the examples. Ok so we all know that when an egg is immersed in hot water, after a while it hardens to become a hard boiled egg. On the flip side, a carrot is already hard but softens when it encounters the same hot water. In either case, the water remains in its original form unchanged, but both the egg and the carrot change. The egg hardens to solid form, while the carrot softens. Both the egg and carrot cannot resist the changes caused by the hot water. Now take a teabag and put it in the same hot water. It doesn't take time to see the teabag effect taking over with the water changing colour and becoming another liquid called tea. After this process is complete, you cannot call it water again because the teabag has done some serious work on encounter and the water is now tea. The tea from the bag permeates the water and changes it completely. and the name water changes to tea. Now this analogy made me think about our own encounters with situations and people. Are we changed by what and who we encounter, or do we change things and impact others around us, creating new possibilities, influencing thoughts, perspectives, identities and visions with hope and totally different desired futures?

The Lesson
The story of the teabag gives me three lessons to share. The first lesson is when you are a strong enough person, you can be a shining example and influence and shape those around you and give them new perspectives and identities into a different future and destiny. Secondly, you cannot change any situation when you are not within it, but you have to immerse yourself in a situation to be of any influence and make decisions that are embraced. Even in business, opinion leaders (who hold referent power) are used to lead change initiatives through the effect they have in an organisation. This is confirmed by the fact that, if you take the same teabag and put it in cold water, it floats and does not change the water. With hot water, what happens is that due to stronger density, the water moves into the teabag and is changed. The police know this fact and they use it through undercover operations where they join forces with the same criminals they are trying to bust. Only when they have gone deep enough can they gain the trust required to crack the secrets and operations that can get the criminals locked up. The fact that it takes heat to change the water to tea brings us to lesson number three, which is that sometimes it is through difficult 'hot' situations that our character is tested. Heat is as uncomfortable as it is, has helped some of us be the people we have turned out to be, with the strength, endurance, determination and vision we have for the future.

The evidence
We need some heat to change our perceptions and release the influence within us for the benefit of others. Without hot situations, we are just floating around not impacting anyone and oblivious to what is inside us, which can change others around us when the correct temperature is turned on. With every encounter, I believe someone or something is changed for good or for bad. If one operates as a teabag, they are a frame of reference which impacts everyone they meet. They are not necessarily changed by situations and circumstances but they change things around them. I have heard of stories of ex-convicts turned philanthropists or drug addicts turned musicians. Most times if you trace these stories, you will find a teabag effect somewhere in their lives. Someone or something (hot) did some work and shaped their destiny for good. Now in life we have some real hot situations we encounter, and those are the ones that bring out character in us. So yes I want to be a teabag and be able to change things around me. As an ending note, Eleanor Roosevelt said 'A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water'. And all the ladies said.....Amen!

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