One of the many causes of suicide is depression and depression is a low mood and state of aversion to activity that can affect behavior, thoughts, feelings and state of well being. Words used to define depression include despondency, dejection, gloom and misery. One of the ways of treating depression is through increasing interaction with others in group activities. When one is sitting in a couch at home, cowered, closed in, shut-out and feeling dejected tears flowing and a box of tissue as the only friend, it makes the
world seem so harsh, restrictive, small, rough and unrelenting in its impact on you. This usually leads one to depression, but as
soon as you expose yourself out there by interacting with others and listening to what they are going
through, you may see how your mountain of a problem is actually just a
molehill. It is when you speak to someone coming from a hospital visit where the situation is hopeless, talk to someone just
off the phone with a medic at a horrific crash scene, talk to someone who has been told not to return to work again or someone who just lost
a limb due to some condition that you see your problem shrink or maybe even disappear.
Your problems are only as big or small as your circle of influence because it is from the stories told in that circle that you either write off or magnify your issues. The stories that you hear from others about where they have been, the journey they are currently taking and what they are facing daily makes you see how
good or bad your own situation really is. Sometimes you end up not saying anything after someone has shared their story because you feel as if you were being petty about yours. You may even end up consoling the other person as if you have no issues in the first place. A challenge or problem must always be looked at within some form of
perspective and context, because without perspective one may create a storm in a teacup.
I have learnt that when you interact with others, sometimes
what you thought was a huge problem becomes nothing more than a temporary setback
from which you can recover compared to someone else’s irrecoverable situation. It is no reason to feel good about oneself, but it is definitely something to take one off being unnecessarily depressed. In general, we approach life comparatively rather than taking an absolute approach and this is better because one always looks for a point of reference from another in whatever they face. Let us continue to share our stories, as we may just help someone to migrate from depression to a better state of mind as they realize that their problem is really not that bad after all. It can always be worse, and it is definitely worse for someone out there, but taken in isolation, it seems as if what you are facing is the worst ever.Image credit
Hi Welli. It is certainly useful to put problems in perspective by interacting with others who face greater challenges. I have mixed feelings over whether we do more good by sharing problems than by trying to be positive and inspirational. On the other hand most people appreciate us listening to their difficulties which at least shows we care even when we have no comparison to offer
ReplyDeleteI realize the differences in relations that occur between the African context and the Western one. Interestingly, there are less issues of depression within the African context despite harsher and tougher living conditions, it is mind boggling.I attribute it to the vibrance of community.
DeleteHuman interaction is important.Helping others is often a way to put our own problems in perspective. This can help get us through some of the depressed times in our lives. Clinical depression is another story though and needs medical attention.
ReplyDeletePerspective is Key Donna. My perspective is the African one, and community is very much a big thing though it fades with affluence for one reason or another.
DeleteIsolation, for humans, is rarely a good thing and as you say exaggerates any issues the person is going through. Thankfully I have very little experience with depression or suicide but I do know that even though depression can lead to suicide or suicidal thoughts, interaction with others is not really an option; at least for the person suffering.
ReplyDeleteThe life you live is one where you have chosen to feel the embrace of community around you everyday Tim. You do not pull yourself out by maybe flying first class, 5 star hotels and exclusive activities and I believe you are always experiencing different forms of life and culture and probably realizing how much more blessed you are in the process. I always enjoy being among the people as well.
DeleteI believe someone is always worse off than me. Having struggled with depression my entire life, I know that being active, i.e. exercise and forcing myself to interact with others is so important. Also, avoiding sad music and isolation is tops in my book.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing that Laurie, from your posts I read that you succeeded in getting rid of that problem. And you interact quite well which also is testament to that success.
DeleteI definitely think interaction with others is important, for being supported and in giving support. I've had a lot of ups and downs in my life, mostly healthwise, and the fact that I always had tremendous support always kept me going.
ReplyDeleteLenie
Life is about support Lenie and balance as well. If you look at people who pursue success at the expense of support in form of family or friends, they end up miserable though successful.
DeleteInteraction is important, for sure. But I also thinking getting the proper help is also important. Depression is no small things...it's not like being "blue". One sure sign of depression can be the inability to interact with others, and that can present a whole other set of issues. I dealt with a chronically depressed mother for a long time...getting her out was a problem.
ReplyDeleteIndeed Jacqui and it is ironic for me to delve into that area having no personal experience with it, though I will hide behind context. Truth be told, the African set up is so different to you guys and depression is something you seldom come across. And when looking deeper, you notice the interactions are much more well integrated as well, community, extended families etc hence my post.
DeleteDepression is a tough one to address because it isn't logical. By that I mean all the things you mention to get out of depression are true, but when you are in it, there isn't the will/motivation to do any of them. But isolation only makes things worse that's for sure. A conversation with a friend can help put the situation into an entirely different perspective. Keep trying is all you can do.
ReplyDeleteI do realize as I read the comments how complex it actually is and I am really a layman in that area. I am however a firm believer in the power of keeping connected with others.
DeleteI think my favorite example of this in my own life is when moms get together to talk about parenting. It can be so hard to know if you're parenting your kids well and talking to other mom's really helps!
ReplyDeleteThat is very true. They say there is no manual for parenting, but as you hear from other parents you become better yourself. Life is not a one man show.
DeleteI think we all deal with things differently. I am an up person but I find when something happens I really need space to work it out and having others involved doesn't work for me. Not all fit into the same mold. If the help groups worked there would not be alcoholics, drug addition, eating disorders, etc. that are still prevalent after a stay in a rehap facility.
ReplyDeleteThat is the complexity of human behavior Arleen, the outliers. I guess there are things we can generalize on, but as with every research or statistical inference ever done, we still have outliers who do not fit in that generalization because people are diverse. When you bring in addictions it does get even more complex because sitting and talking is not easily going to get rid of that problem developed over years. The important thing is to acknowledge someone making an effort and steps towards liberation.
DeleteIt seems to me that so many people talk of getting depressed and I wonder how they can find the time.( I'm not trying to be ill-mannered). When you always stay in your own experiences, you see the world very differently than if you stopped to consider others. At least, to try.
ReplyDeleteI hear your frustration on this Susanna. The world has around 7 billion and they are all different. Imagine the vastness of differences we have between us. I believe that groups such as BHB help us understand how others different from us cope with their daily lives and what makes them tick and we become better off than those who live in their own experiences.
DeleteVarious habits of mind can be learned and interaction always goes a long way toward fending off moderate to mild depression. However, my bipolar mother would occasionally slip into very deep depressions that I would not wish on anyone. It's a hard disease to understand.
ReplyDeleteThe complexity of human behavior never ceases to amaze me Jeri. And sometimes you really do not know how to handle a particular condition because you have never seen it happen before. And yes you are right that some people will even do better alone when in a certain mental state.
DeleteThere's certainly benefit to communicating with others, who may understand what you are going through. Sometimes however, that is not helpful for everyone.
ReplyDeleteWhat IS important is that anyone who finds themselves to be depressed, find some way to cope and get up and on with life.
Coping mechanisms, very true Patricia. The worst situation is not developing one and suffering the same way every time.
DeleteIt's so true that you only realise how lucky you are after you have met someone whose problems are bigger than yours.
ReplyDeleteYes Mina, I can testify to this truth. Sometimes my motivation comes from people who are doing better against worse odds than mine.
DeleteHi Welli,
ReplyDeleteI think a person feeling suicidal should always be taken seriously. They're looking for a way to release their pain. Redirecting their focus off themselves, as you've inferred here, going out and volunteering, being with others is a good way to help them begin to feel better about their situation.
You use an important phrase there Bill, "redirecting focus", and I think that is the essence of being with others.
DeleteA lot of people in the West are depressed because they feel they have a right to be. Can't help wondering why? The only thing they get out of it is feeling terrible. But they still keep on focusing on the negative aspects of life. Preferably som area where they can imagine a catastrophy could happen. It's different in your country though, because most people can not afford to be depressed just because they feel like it.
ReplyDeleteYou are correct Catarina, and I made a similar response to Paul. I see you have exposure to both worlds and their vastness. Not only are people this side less depressed than their western counterparts, but I dare say they sleep happier and more peaceful (comparatively) in the most unbearable conditions one can imagine. I am even amazed myself. The whatsapp craze has recently been a point that made me realize how big a coping mechanism human interaction is. There has been such excellent humor coming out of Southern Africa like I have never seen before and you wonder where people would get the mental space for such humor in the midst of untold hardship, but that interaction keeps people going, in this case thanks to social media.
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ReplyDeleteWelli, I have been suicidal many times in the past. Fortunately, I failed the one time I actually tried to kill myself. I'm now grateful for what I have, even though I still get depressed now and then.
ReplyDeleteBy speaking about issues such as suicide and depression, you are helping others foster communication, which, to me, is the most important thing. Speaking out is something more people should do.
By the way, I found you via BHB in LI. Nice to meet you!
I am glad to see how you have overcome that problem you faced Lorraine. The fact that you can come out and speak about it giving others your personal story and how you have overcome while also being grateful for your life is testament to the fact that you are a victorious woman! Thanks for your comment.
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