Enjoying every moment

The plan
More than 10 years ago together with friends and families, we planned a holiday to the Eastern Highlands of Zimbabwe in Chimanimani to unwind, reboot and forget the hustle and bustle of city life. We booked and confirmed accommodation and it seemed a great plan. We left home around about 10pm or so for the more than 400km trip. Everything went well until we reached the so called holiday destination and saw the state of the accommodation. It was nowhere near what we expected and the decision to leave was unanimous and immediate. Now, this was around 1am that we were making this decision which meant finding alternative accommodation, hours away from home and in the middle of the bush literally. We had to start from scratch to find a place to stay, and our clever planning and plotting of alternatives took us to a 4x4 off-road trail where one of the cars got stuck in a river at around 3am in the morning. Who wants to get out of a car at that time of day and into cold water in the dark without knowing what lurks beneath and push a car, I ask with tears in my eyes? Well, I would want to say not me, but in hindsight, it is something possible. Manpower was abundant with enthusiasm and zeal found wanting. After much discontent, murmuring, witch hunting (for the person who chose the route of course) and a bit of cursing, we managed to get of the sticky situation and re-routed to several places without success of finding anything. Seeing that the prospects of finding a place were almost non-existent, we drove back to a town we had passed through earlier called Marondera (no holiday destination) which is around 70km from Harare and got there in the dawn of morning. Long story short, we managed to find a place and hence our holiday plan survived against all odds albeit not in the preferred bush setting planned.

What about the ride?
Years later my friends and I have reflected back on this holiday and have had a good chuckle while talking about what happened that day. I realized something about life and about myself. We often plan our journeys but do not plan to enjoy every moment, no matter what comes our way during the journey. We plan to enjoy the desired outcome at the end, but not the journey itself, nor the incidentals that may occur as we take the journey. During the mishaps that we encountered during our holiday, none of us thought, "hey this is fun, lets enjoy it!". It was not fun! We did not enjoy the mishaps, only to realize years later, that we actually did have an adventure and would laugh about it. I also realized that for me, the best holidays are the ones with a bit of unplanned detours, uncertainty and improvising, not the clearly planned ones where everything just falls into place, I do not remember them as much. So the lesson there is you must enjoy every moment as you do anything, be it planning an event, taking a long trip or a short one like going grocery shopping or anything you may do. There is the cliché, life is a journey, enjoy the ride, and it holds so much meaning. How easy it is to forget when things do not work according to plan that they are probably working to a different plan than we had, and many a time, we cannot revert to the old plan, which means not enjoying what is happening implies that you become a miserable person. Maybe that detour is your intended plan? Well it actually ends up as part of the plan does it not? But if you do not enjoy the moment, what a miserable day, week, month, year or God forbid, life you end up having.

My tips to enjoying every moment

1. Determine to enjoy every moment of your life. Not easy, hence - determine!
2. Focus on the result and devise an enjoyable process to get there. Think differently.
3. Laugh first, then think about how to get out of that mess. Do not get angry! This I do many times in traffic.
4. Be alert to mishaps that can make an experience bad and have counter actions ready. If you have none, refer to number 1.
5. Just think, whether you enjoy or not, time does not stop. Rather make every second count. Do not get even a single grey hair while being miserable.

If the above tips do not work, turn around, go home and enjoy a cup of coffee. Seriously, do not wait for the destination to enjoy the ride. Not to take away from benefits of good and proper planning as well as a flawless holiday or trip, but do enjoy the ride together with the moments of getting stuck in the mud, breakdowns, slow boats and flat tires when they happen. It is part of the journey and adventure and truth be told, you it will make for a good story with friends and family when you return, and they will probably enjoy that part more. Well people are different I would say, many prefer flawless plans, order and smooth rides, but what do you do when your plan does not work out? Do you block all form of initiative towards making it work in another way by failing to embrace what is before you? I have decided to enjoy every moment as I take on anything in life. Believe me, I am not being the ostrich here oblivious to the difficulty inherent in this. It is not easy to laugh when a great plan has to change leading to more work and hours into something, whether it is your fault or not, but all I am saying is it makes life better when you try and enjoy the unexciting, uninspiring and unenjoyable.

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Your own hidden record

On 10 November 1951, Sir Hugh Beaver, then managing director of the Guinness Breweries, went bird shooting in County Wexford, Ireland and got into an argument regarding the fastest game bird in Europe, but could not confirm between the golden plover or the red grouse. With the reality of many other such unconfirmed debates surfacing, he came up with the idea that led to the first Guinness Book of Records being commissioned in August 1954, listing world records, both human achievements and extremes of the natural world. Since the launch of the book, people have gone all out to discover what they can do, which no one else can and each event or year is a chance to raise the bar and break a prior record. The book itself holds a world record, as the best-selling copyrighted book of all time and is one of the most frequently stolen books from public libraries in the United States.

Snapshot of 2015 records
So what are some of the highlights of the new world records released in 2014?

A Danish trick-golf artist secured his place in the Guinness World Records 2015 book for creating the world’s longest usable golf club. It measures 4.37m in length and has been used to drive a ball a distance of 165.46m. Do not even ask me about my handicap because I am in fact handicapped in that area.

Circus artist Nancy, made it into the Guinness World Records 2015 book for the farthest arrow shot with the feet. She is able to shoot an arrow 6.09m onto a target measuring just 13.97cm. Compared to her, my body is as rigid as a piece of dry wood. Don't bend me.

Nick from California has an entry in the Guinness World Records 2015 book for having the longest tongue, measuring 10.1cm from its tip to the middle of the closed top lip. I saw him eat ice cream on the news and I will say no more. You can see the photos of the above highlights here.

You as a record holder
Life is competitive from the day one is born and 'man' is always trying to be the best in his/her sphere of influence. Numeracy dictates that number 1 is better than number 10, unless it is a bank balance of course. With the Guinness Book now leaning away from fascinating statistics and more towards bizarre stunts, you probably know weird stunts only you or someone you know personally can do, but maybe some are best performed without an audience? There are many 'unorthodox unsung world record holders/breakers' out there. If you just had the slightest smile or even laugh, you know what I am talking about. It could be on the best or worst side, but it is still a record right? Would you say you have something you do better than anyone else around you, forget the world for now. I bet you have something you are so passionate about, it has become second nature, effortless with excellence in execution. Those subliminal, subjective things which cannot be clearly defined by a world ranking. This is usually echoed by those you interact with as shown by real life examples you may identify with below;

"Ashi you are the best when it comes to cracking me up.............".

"No one in the world can encourage and get the most out of  people like Max............"

"Bill you are so full of wisdom for any situation and you just know what to say............"

"When I need a good laugh, I know to call on you Jacqui......."

You do not need to be in a book of records to make a difference to those around you as best at something. They know you are the best because they see and feel the impact and reach of what you do, the world does not. You could be the best mom, wife, dad, friend, cook, writer, counselor, comforter, listener, story teller, whatever it is. Have you noticed that some jokes are best told by someone specific within your circles, who does it best with the gestures, expressions, voice effects, the works, and you will laugh all over again? Another person can try, but could mix up and forget lines with the laughing being directed at how bad the joke has been told. You don't need world recognition or payment to be the best, but there are more subtle benefits. Your loved ones reminisce about you with nostalgia and a deep sense of longing and adoration. You are remembered and missed when you are not there. Sometimes it is these priceless, inconspicuous, subtle parts of our interactions that matter more than money and world recognition. 

Unblinker your view

In an experiment initiated by a Washington Post columnist, Joshua Bell donned a baseball cap and jeans during the morning rush hour of 27th January 2007 and played as an incognito busker at a Metro subway station in Washington, D.C. Now this is a rather old story which you may have come across already, but I want to share some thoughts I picked up. While he played, 1 097 people walked past, but only 7 people stopped to listen to him for a minute or more, while only 1 person recognized him. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written and this with a violin worth more than $3 million. His almost 45-minute performance raised $32.17 from 27 passersby (excluding $20 from the passerby who recognized him). Three days before this, he had earned incomparably more playing the same repertoire at a sold out concert in Boston with an average cost per seat of $100.  Joshua Bell is one of the most acclaimed classical musicians of today. He is an American Grammy Award -winning violinist and conductor and was named an Indiana Living Legend receiving the Indiana Governor's Arts Award. He also received the Avery Fisher Prize, given once every few years to classical instrumentalists for outstanding achievement.

Blinkered society?
In a previous post entitled Hidden treasures walking past, I spoke about how every day we walk past hidden treasures or value that we seldom recognize because we do not make small effort to find it. The experiment above begs many questions among which are; What matters more, experience or the value inherent in the experience? Are we a heavily contextual society that only defines excellence, beauty and value by the environment and atmosphere in which we find it? Oh, but of course, it was the wrong setting, wrong audience, timing and performance outfit. It would seem to me that we have blinkers on, which make us perceive, view, see, and place value selectively. I do appreciate that people are more willing to pay for an experience, and Joshua himself alludes to the fact that performing in a noisy subway proved more difficult, as he would perform optimally when there is pin drop silence. Does excellence, perfection and beauty lose value because of context? The point was made, we do not perceive beauty or excellence for what it is, but for how we perceive it and what we have been told and made to believe it is. Under normal circumstances, headlines would have put it out there and billed the performance as a rare must see act, thereby creating hype and a sense of value, but well, no one said it was Joshua Bell performing, did they? A priceless performance for free, and it went unnoticed. What a thought provoking experiment this was. I love this experiment and what it sought to bring out in human behavior. For me, the lesson is to always 'stop and smell the coffee' as it were, without downing the cup quicker than the sugar settles. This is my challenge to you, as much as it was back then, to avoid missing the subtle excellence, beauty and value around you because it is not disguised in the packaging you expect. I believe that value within matters more than the external packaging it comes in. After all some of us rip off the gift wrapping from gifts we receive in the rush to see the gift contained therein.

Removing blinkers
A blinkered view is one where there is narrow, limited and partial awareness or vision. It is important to keep your eyes and ears open to what can be rather than what seems to be. Time is a rare commodity in our day and age, but what is life without embracing the beauty and value around us, while caught up in the rat race? Here is a few points to avoid missing excellence around you.

1. Always keep time and space for something new to come up each day. It will make you see what others do not see.
2. Avoid the familiarity syndrome where everything seems like dejavu, and you have been there, done that, seen or heard it before.
3. It is not out of fashion to stop and appreciate in some way that act on the street seeking their breakthrough, they are making an honest living.
4. Try not to have your whole life filled with work and business activities. Create free time for your mind to break out of the rut.
5. Have a child like perspective which seeks to discover and learn always.

Second chances...
With the experimental legacy of being the subway performer who received no recognition lingering, Joshua Bell is now focusing on turning that legacy around. He is planning another public performance in the Main Hall at Washington's Union Station on the 30th of September 2014, in aid of National Young Arts Foundation, accompanied by nine students he mentored and with the goal of promoting music education. This will also coincide with the debut of his new album. I believe it will be a more memorable performance with the attention it deserves and the desired legacy.

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Heart shaped head

The Scottish referendum has come and gone and the union of the United Kingdom prevailed.  It was described as a matter of head versus heart as people reminisced being part of a strong and mighty family unit with Britain, while flirting with the possibility of becoming an independent country. Head being the logical and rational part that assessed all the pros and cons and the risks of breaking away, and heart being the emotional part seeking to try something new with confidence and zeal to go it alone and explore possibilities. I would argue that the heart also meant staying within the union and being part of a 300 year old family unit as this would be an emotional side of deciding. Which would mean there were two hearts involved on opposite sides plus a single head. The referendum helped people reflect on the meaning of Scotland to them and what they wanted for their homeland going forward. When asked what Scotland meant to him, a certain gentleman said, "It is home, the place I miss when I go to places that are more fabulous than Scotland". I liked this statement a lot as I identify with it. This was the heart speaking, as he did not need to make a logical assessment of data and facts to make this conclusion. In fact the statement acknowledges that there are better places than home, but home is chosen any day and anyway. Scientifically, human beings are considered to be wired towards the heart, in decision making as this is the easiest way out.  If one tries to use the head in decision making, it means a lot of effort in assessing data and facts to come to a rational decision. Heart simply decides using a process of how one feels. Since according to my theory, the head was also supported by a heart on the same side of staying in the union, the head won or should I say the heart won? A majority of Scots chose to stay in the union, with fear of the unknown probably being the deciding factor in this case.

Here are some quotes on the workings of the head and the heart.

• If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart - Nelson Mandela

• A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart - Jonathan Swift

• A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination - Nelson Mandela

• There is a wisdom of the head, and a wisdom of the heart - Charles Dickens

• I think there is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is softness of head - Theodore Roosevelt

• Fine art is that in which the hand, the head, and the heart of man go together - John Ruskin

• Keep your head and heart going in the right direction, and you won't have to worry about your feet- Unknown quotes 

 

Both the head and heart are needed in decision making and they are equally important, as some of the quotes above allude to. Every decision goes through a process based on either the head, heart or a combination of both, and being naturally inclined to make heart based decisions, most people take the easy way out and decide on how they feel. Be it buying a car, especially buying a car - statements like "can you hear the engine roar, oh check out that mean grill". Of course! And how about fuel consumption, and does it actually stop when you need it to? Out the window. More so where love is concerned, where most follow their heart more than their head. Many a friendships or family relations have been torn apart as a result of someone who is using the head, fighting a heart based decision. How though, can you fight a heart issue using the head? It is a foregone conclusion for many is it not? The heart does speak louder than the head in relational issues it seems. Over to you for now. Are you logical and rational, assessing all facts and figures and options methodically, or emotional and nostalgic, going with your gut feel? I thought about it and found that depending on situations, I use a mix of head and heart, with heart trumping head along social lines. How does head against heart pit each other in your life?


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The great reach

When you stretch out your hand and touch or grab at something you reach for it. When you drive, ride, fly or walk and arrive at a destination, you reach the destination (this is very clearly stated by the voice in the system if you are using a GPS). When you affect and influence people across a wide geographic spectrum, you have a reach covering that audience. You reach for something, reach a destination, reach a person, reach a milestone and reach a goal. What an interesting word, REACH. Reach is a very rich word, is it not?  I was just wondering how reach applies to my own life and that of everyone else around me. What am I reaching for, who am I trying to reach and what destination will I reach with where I am facing and at my current pace? The answer was a plain and simple one. I must be on a correct path be moving not stagnant. Couple of times I have been driving and tried to reach for something in the back seat, but because I cannot simultaneously remove my eyes off the road, I miss it a couple of times, and end up stopping the car so that I can get the item. Either I reach in the wrong direction, or my reach is too short to where the item is, both which deny me my goal. If you reach out to the wrong thing you will not get the result you want and you may even get burnt, literally or figuratively, if you reach the wrong destination, you may need to re-trace your steps and re-route to the correct one. If you reach the wrong audience you may receive negative criticism and be discouraged thinking you did the wrong thing.

 

Everyday reach

Reach is something we do everyday of our lives knowingly or unknowingly, spoken or unspoken. In the morning I reach for the towel after a shower or bath, then reach for the shelf, rack or drawer where my clothes are. I then reach for the cereal box up in that high cupboard for a healthy breakfast and then reach for the car keys as I rush to drive out. We reach different places, the office, our house, church, conference venue or a function. We reach out to different people, our family, friends, workmates and other people, maybe because we are extroverts or we just care about them. We are always reaching for something or someone, and sometimes we find out and make peace with the fact that certain things are out of reach, and we realign our intent to reach with our possibilities. Inevitably however, at some point we reach the end of our lives. This is one destination we do not intentionally reach out for, but we find ourselves there anyway. Now the question that comes is, when you reach that point in life, would you have reached where you were going and in the process, the people you wanted to reach? I not only want to reach milestones, but I also want to reach people and places. It is a decision I have reached as I thought about the effect of reach on my life. Now you can reach your own conclusions and maybe continue on your current path, or change direction and start reaching for your goals and also reaching out to the people you need to reach in your life. Enjoy the journey and hopefully smile when you reach your destination.