The plan
More than 10 years ago together with friends and families, we planned a holiday to the Eastern Highlands of Zimbabwe in Chimanimani to unwind, reboot and forget the hustle and bustle of city life. We booked and confirmed accommodation and it seemed a great plan. We left home around about 10pm or so for the more than 400km trip. Everything went well until we reached the so called holiday destination and saw the state of the accommodation. It was nowhere near what we expected and the decision to leave was unanimous and immediate. Now, this was around 1am that we were making this decision which meant finding alternative accommodation, hours away from home and in the middle of the bush literally. We had to start from scratch to find a place to stay, and our clever planning and plotting of alternatives took us to a 4x4 off-road trail where one of the cars got stuck in a river at around 3am in the morning. Who wants to get out of a car at that time of day and into cold water in the dark without knowing what lurks beneath and push a car, I ask with tears in my eyes? Well, I would want to say not me, but in hindsight, it is something possible. Manpower was abundant with enthusiasm and zeal found wanting. After much discontent, murmuring, witch hunting (for the person who chose the route of course) and a bit of cursing, we managed to get of the sticky situation and re-routed to several places without success of finding anything. Seeing that the prospects of finding a place were almost non-existent, we drove back to a town we had passed through earlier called Marondera (no holiday destination) which is around 70km from Harare and got there in the dawn of morning. Long story short, we managed to find a place and hence our holiday plan survived against all odds albeit not in the preferred bush setting planned.
What about the ride?
Years later my friends and I have reflected back on this holiday and have had a good chuckle while talking about what happened that day. I realized something about life and about myself. We often plan our journeys but do not plan to enjoy every moment, no matter what comes our way during the journey. We plan to enjoy the desired outcome at the end, but not the journey itself, nor the incidentals that may occur as we take the journey. During the mishaps that we encountered during our holiday, none of us thought, "hey this is fun, lets enjoy it!". It was not fun! We did not enjoy the mishaps, only to realize years later, that we actually did have an adventure and would laugh about it. I also realized that for me, the best holidays are the ones with a bit of unplanned detours, uncertainty and improvising, not the clearly planned ones where everything just falls into place, I do not remember them as much. So the lesson there is you must enjoy every moment as you do anything, be it planning an event, taking a long trip or a short one like going grocery shopping or anything you may do. There is the cliché, life is a journey, enjoy the ride, and it holds so much meaning. How easy it is to forget when things do not work according to plan that they are probably working to a different plan than we had, and many a time, we cannot revert to the old plan, which means not enjoying what is happening implies that you become a miserable person. Maybe that detour is your intended plan? Well it actually ends up as part of the plan does it not? But if you do not enjoy the moment, what a miserable day, week, month, year or God forbid, life you end up having.
My tips to enjoying every moment
Image credit
More than 10 years ago together with friends and families, we planned a holiday to the Eastern Highlands of Zimbabwe in Chimanimani to unwind, reboot and forget the hustle and bustle of city life. We booked and confirmed accommodation and it seemed a great plan. We left home around about 10pm or so for the more than 400km trip. Everything went well until we reached the so called holiday destination and saw the state of the accommodation. It was nowhere near what we expected and the decision to leave was unanimous and immediate. Now, this was around 1am that we were making this decision which meant finding alternative accommodation, hours away from home and in the middle of the bush literally. We had to start from scratch to find a place to stay, and our clever planning and plotting of alternatives took us to a 4x4 off-road trail where one of the cars got stuck in a river at around 3am in the morning. Who wants to get out of a car at that time of day and into cold water in the dark without knowing what lurks beneath and push a car, I ask with tears in my eyes? Well, I would want to say not me, but in hindsight, it is something possible. Manpower was abundant with enthusiasm and zeal found wanting. After much discontent, murmuring, witch hunting (for the person who chose the route of course) and a bit of cursing, we managed to get of the sticky situation and re-routed to several places without success of finding anything. Seeing that the prospects of finding a place were almost non-existent, we drove back to a town we had passed through earlier called Marondera (no holiday destination) which is around 70km from Harare and got there in the dawn of morning. Long story short, we managed to find a place and hence our holiday plan survived against all odds albeit not in the preferred bush setting planned.What about the ride?
Years later my friends and I have reflected back on this holiday and have had a good chuckle while talking about what happened that day. I realized something about life and about myself. We often plan our journeys but do not plan to enjoy every moment, no matter what comes our way during the journey. We plan to enjoy the desired outcome at the end, but not the journey itself, nor the incidentals that may occur as we take the journey. During the mishaps that we encountered during our holiday, none of us thought, "hey this is fun, lets enjoy it!". It was not fun! We did not enjoy the mishaps, only to realize years later, that we actually did have an adventure and would laugh about it. I also realized that for me, the best holidays are the ones with a bit of unplanned detours, uncertainty and improvising, not the clearly planned ones where everything just falls into place, I do not remember them as much. So the lesson there is you must enjoy every moment as you do anything, be it planning an event, taking a long trip or a short one like going grocery shopping or anything you may do. There is the cliché, life is a journey, enjoy the ride, and it holds so much meaning. How easy it is to forget when things do not work according to plan that they are probably working to a different plan than we had, and many a time, we cannot revert to the old plan, which means not enjoying what is happening implies that you become a miserable person. Maybe that detour is your intended plan? Well it actually ends up as part of the plan does it not? But if you do not enjoy the moment, what a miserable day, week, month, year or God forbid, life you end up having.
My tips to enjoying every moment
- Determine to enjoy every moment of your life. Not easy, hence - determine!
- Focus on the result and devise an enjoyable process to get there. Think differently.
- Laugh first, then think about how to get out of that mess. Do not get angry! This I do many times in traffic.
- Be alert to mishaps that can make an experience bad and have counter actions ready. If you have none, refer to number 1.
- Just think, whether you enjoy or not, time does not stop. Rather make every second count. Do not get even a single grey hair while being miserable.
Image credit
Ha! Well being the curmudgeon that I am, I often say that you can't always make lemonade out of lemons...no matter how hard you try! :) Sometimes, it's hind-sight that provides the humor. Now THAT seems to always work for me. While I might acknowledge that one particular detour might not have been fun...I can always FIND SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT IT!!! Wonderful post Welli. Reminds me not to be such a damn curmudgeon:)
ReplyDeleteThanks Jacqui, at least I learnt a new word "curmudgeon". Never would have guessed it would relate to a person to save my life. It mostly always works in hindsight interestingly and perhaps that is a good thing. Step away from being a curmudgeon!
DeleteIt does sometimes take a little while to find the silver lining and it is often very humorous in hindsight. I have had my fair share of mis-adventures and have learned over time that all detours and mishaps to plans are bonuses to the ultimate plan. As you point out it is just a matter of accepting this and appreciating those slices that life throws at us. The best description I can think of is that "As we are busy making plans; life happens".
ReplyDeleteI believe you when you talk of mis-adventure but your blog itself speaks of one who has come to embrace them as you affirm as well. Life always happens no matter what we do
DeleteHi Welli - I would not have gone into water to push a car in the dark of night - no matter what, so I applaud those that did. What an adventure that was. I do agree that at times you just need to 'go with the flow' and let life happen instead of trying to force life into the preconceived plan. That will never work and just leave you feeling miserable and frustrated.
ReplyDeleteLenie no one definitely would want to do that, but sometimes you wonder how you did it. It is difficult during the time
DeleteProbably around the same time, maybe a year or two earlier, I was at Victoria Falls in Zambia right across the bridge from Zimbabwe. I also got stuck. I was on a boat with maybe a half-dozen other tourists that ran aground on rocks in the Zambezi River. We also ended up getting out of the boat into the river and pushing. Not quite the adventure you had because ours was at least in the middle of the day.
ReplyDeleteKen a boat running aground would not exactly be a good thing for me no matter what time of day it is, I would still choose mine because the water was not that deep. Interesting adventure in the Zambezi river there. That is a great place for adventure.
DeleteGoing in water and pushing cars is a very common scene in Kashmir as of heavy rains mostly water is overflowing from under ground pipes and coming on road and have seen many cars and other vehicles that break in those waters or sometimes due to water get stuck in side water channels. When you are going in country side then many times the accommodation do not look like what you see on internet.
ReplyDeleteBut as you said laugh first , it is hard but necessary thing to do in that tension. If you are out to enjoy then you have to enjoy every bit of journey no matter hard to digest.
When I saw picture of bus with broken tire it remind me of many such scenes that I always see :) .
So you can definitely identify with my story Anna because you see it all the time. It id difficult to laugh, but there is that laugh which is really not a laugh that comes out. What can you do?
DeleteThank you for this story. Your insight and advise is refreshing and true. What a wild story. I'm glad you can laugh at it. I always feel that wherever I am is where i need to be. It's the people along the way we help give or share with and the experiences and blessings we receive during the process that matter most :D
ReplyDeleteThat is so true what you say, but we always get this feeling that I should be somewhere else and some spend their whole life feeling like they are not living the life they should. So sad.
DeleteSo much in life often does not go according to plan, so we are all well-served to try to keep a sense of humor about it. One just never knows when the unexpected detours will bring memorable experiences our way.
ReplyDeleteA dose of humor goes a long way in making detours better experiences Jeri. Experience will definitely tell one that.
DeleteI can imagine, how people were getting in the cold water to push the car out scared of what is in the water. It is not fun at the moment. Glad that you found enjoyment on it later in life.
ReplyDeleteExactly Bindu!!! Not a pleasant experience. You can only find the humor way later, not at that moment.
DeleteI know when I am down, I make sure that I do not only enjoy every secound, I make sure I am thankful for every second.
ReplyDeleteBeing thankful is a key component to enjoying every moment as well William and the reason many times we do not enjoy is we are not thankful at all.
DeleteI really enjoyed the positive spin on this post. I'm a great believer in enjoying the little things and that everything happens for a reason. But I can't say that I'm the calmest person in times of crises! My father gets so angry in traffic! My sister has to remind him, in a funny way, he's actually contributing to the traffic. Haha!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.pennedbyjenny.co.uk
Glad you enjoyed it Jenny. Traffic is the true test of being calm and most times if you are not calm you just ruin your day and may even bump someone from emotion. I always try to be calm.
DeleteIt is important to remember to enjoy every moment, I am a planner and some one who likes to have counter-measures ready for potential mishaps. That allows me to relax and enjoy the moments along the way and be open to things that may change my plans. Sometimes, the greatest joys are found in the detours.
ReplyDeleteIt must be frustrating for you then when the detours come Donna because being someone who wants planned and orderly things with counter measures, there is no room for mistakes. Glad you realize how detours can also be joyous.
DeleteDefinitely a good read. I think ive learned to laugh first 21 months ago, with the arrival of my first born, life as we knew it was about to change! Im sure many of your followers who have been blessed with their own little ones will agree, that you can plan all you like, but things will go in a different direction! You can plan to leave at a certain hour but if the little one is napping NO ONE will dare awaken them from their slumber, same would apply if it is feeding time, bed time, etc as routine is a instrumental part of your little ones life now!
ReplyDeleteSo i guess my point is two fold.... as adults we have to learn that PLANNING has a small role to play in the bigger picture. And as children PLANNING (i.e. ROUTINES) has a critical role to ensuring the sanity of us as Adults!
Linda that is an interesting perspective. Whenever you bring the little ones into an equation, the detours are inevitable and you have to be prepared for anything. You are always on standby and everything stops when they call. The accidents, tantrums etc. It all throws your plans out and you still have to find ways to enjoy every moment!
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