Shadows and souls

There are individuals in a team, group, congregation or gathering. There is someone behind a flat empty shadow. Ever thought about the person next to you where ever you could be at any time. In a mall, bus, street, event, supermarket, salon, church or golf course. The person next to you could be dealing with an issue you have no idea about. The lady in your queue could be handling a crisis you are not man enough to handle. The guy in front of you could be working through a mess that you cannot begin to deal with.The shadow around you could be a desperate soul screaming for a break and rescue. Wherever you may be, you could be seeing a totally different picture on the face of someone to that which is inside them. Outside everything could be in order with peace and calm oozing yet inside there is turmoil, confusion and struggle. Good and bad thing I guess, as people will not treat you according to what you dealing with, but also one wants sometimes to be able to deal with their own issues in their own way without people knowing sometimes. The calm on someone's face says nothing about the struggle within them, the toiling and battles in their world as you look at them. Sometimes it shows, but most times we do not pay attention to it and will never know. It is possible to spend a whole day with someone and not know what is eating them inside, unless one has insights enough to dig deeper. It does after all take an effort to care to see through that blank face. To get the story behind that empty gaze or silent posture. It is even possible to work with someone and never know their daily struggles if they do not open up about them. Such is life that we all seem on the same page but we are probably on different books all together. Will you care today to be human enough to see people once again. To see a struggle, a pain a hope, a wish, a dream, an emotion of whatever sort. That is what true humanity and spirituality is about. To bring pure calm and peace to a soul both inside and outside. To leave someone feeling better than they were before an encounter. To be human and not be mechanical and robotic. 

How is your benchmarking?

Benchmarking is the process of comparing one's business processes and performance metrics to industry best practices by relating to those of other companies which are excellent and on top of their game in an effort to become like them. Typical areas covered through benchmarking are quality, time and cost. Top firms are identified in a particular industry and a comparison is made in several areas identified. In this way, they learn how well the benchmark company performs relative to them and more importantly, the business processes that explain why these firms are successful. This then allows the organization to develop plans on how to make improvements or adapt specific best practices, usually with the aim of improving some aspect of performance. Benchmarking may be a one-off event, but is often treated as a continuous process in which organizations continually seek to improve their practices by aligning with industry top performers. Benchmarking is not only used by companies but by any person as well, in which case it may not be named as benchmarking, but aspiring to a role model or to a milestone. Everyone aspires to be like their celebrity, superstar, hero or maybe mentor. These are the people you may look up to and view them as having proven ways and norms that produce top results showing that they are doing things in a way you also would subscribe to. I have seen preachers who have adopted a style of preaching inspired by their hero preacher, or people who dress like their celebrities, even following their diet and speaking like the people they look up to. There is nothing wrong with having someone to look up to and having heroes and role models around. It is however important to remain your own person, unique with a personal identity of your own. Finger prints are not the same and so behavior cannot be the same in every way. Now back to benchmarking, when a company does proper benchmarking, they make sure that fundamentals are similar so as to compare apples with apples to ensure that they can aspire to something realistic and achievable. There are many role models out there with whom to benchmark yourself with. It is important to choose the right benchmark that will assist you achieve your goals. Some call it role models, frames of reference or influence leaders. Whatever you may call them, it is good to have someone who has been there and can help you improve your life in the ways you desire. It may not even be one person, but many people depending on which area of life. Every time you face a situation, you just use them as a point of departure to solving the problem or to responding to a crisis in your life. Always ask yourself, "what would this person do?". Here is a parting note on benchmarking. Avoid situations like waking up and looking in the mirror only to be disappointed that you do not look as good as your favourite celebrity on his or her best stage. It is important to be realistic and also compare like with like.

PHENOMENAL WOMAN

Quite coincidental that it is women's month in South Africa and I find no better person to help celebrate a woman than the one and only Maya Angelou who is one of my favorite poets and also quoted in my previous post. This one goes out to all the women of the world. Celebrate yourself, because you are phenomenal.


PHENOMENAL WOMAN 

MAYA ANGELOU

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say, It’s in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman, Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman, That’s me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man, The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say, It’s the fire in my eyes,

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I’m a woman, Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman, That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered   

What they see in me.

They try so much,

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,   

They say they still can’t see.   

I say, It’s in the arch of my back,   

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman, Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman, That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed.   

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.   

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say, It’s in the click of my heels,   

The bend of my hair,   

the palm of my hand,   

The need for my care.   

Cause I’m a woman, Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman, That’s me.

Lessons from Maya

• 'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'

• I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

• 'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

• 'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'

• 'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

• I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back...'

• I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

• 'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

• I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back...'

• 'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn...'

• I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

Image credit

Getting off the bike without falling

One weekend I was teaching my son how to ride a bike. While he had been previously riding the bike without any problems when it had wheels at the back, after I removed them he struggled to balance the bicycle and found himself falling off the bike every time it came to a stop or when he lost control.

I had assumed that since he could cycle with the support wheels, he could also cycle when I removed them but I was wrong. He did not have the technique required to take off and also to stop without falling off. The major problem was getting the bicycle to stop without falling off and so I ended up giving him a lesson on the proper way to fall, or rather get off the bike, something I had not planned on doing at all. My realization was that if he could fall properly, he could enjoy riding the bike as the way he had been falling was making him feel that the experience was not enjoyable. And so within a few minutes he could bring the bike to a stop and not fall off ,and this changed his whole perspective of learning to cycle and even made him want to continue where he had previously decided that he had had enough of the bike.

So I found myself learning a lesson on getting off the bike or taking a pause while cycling. Every cyclist will stop at a stop sign or traffic light or to ask for directions. When you do not know how to get off the bike you can miss important stops that need to be made or maybe fall and end up not enjoying the ride. When you know how to get off the bike however, you can get up and get going again. Life is after all a series of starting things, stopping and continuing or starting new things again, more like riding a bike getting off and riding again. The key is to stop in a way that prepares you to get going again with a new venture. There are various reasons why when setting out to do something, we do not go straight through to complete it and may need to get off what we are doing and then get back at it. Many times we are not taught about getting off but we are taught about getting going. Many speakers talk about going where we want to go and how to get there, with a few if any talking about those moments when you have to get off your venture or goal for one reason or another, but with a posture of getting up to go again on the same or another venture maybe due to temporary setbacks. When he fell off the bike he left hold of the handles and rolled all over the place bruising himself in the process. I told him to maintain his hands on the handles of the bike when the bike stopped and then get one foot on the ground ready to carry him and avoid falling.

So while he still got off the bike, he did in a way that prepared him to take off again. We start many things that we want to achieve in life but sometimes we may need to temporarily, maybe
permanently even, get off something we are doing for various reasons but still be able to get going. Do we know how to get off while maintaining the passion and zeal to pursue again? It is important to know how to  get off, step back, reflect something and still prepare to get going again as we cycle the bicycle of life. You could be cycling perfectly right now but you need to know how to get off when the next stop (obstacle/hindrance) comes up. Unfortunately it is not as easy as riding a bike as there is no set formula on how to do it, but you will need to know how to get off the bike at some point. It is important to avoid falling which can put you off ever finishing what you set out to do in the first place.